How are you!!?? I hope that Christmas was wonderful and that you didn´t get too distracted by all of the presents and whatnot. I had the opportunity to spend Christmas without those things, and it was a special experience. I really really love my Savior. Sometimes I feel as though I don´t know him as I well as I would like to, but little by little I am coming to know and understand Him.
I LOVED being able to skype with you. The two iPad thing wasn´t ideal, but at least I was able to see his face and hear his voice. We´ll get that all worked out next time. And in a year we will have to do a four way skype call. You know I am pretty sure that hardly EVER happens in the field. You may be some of the only parents that will have three missionaries out at the same time. God is totally going to bless you for that.
You all look great. Brigham´s hair is kind of..big, but I am sure he´ll cut it soon :) Grammie and Grandpa still look as young as ever. But I will admit it does really frighten me that my grandfather is turning 70 in a few months. Especially because he is doing it without me! I cannot believe it. I am just glad that I will be there to see my father turn 40. That is going to be a really weird day. But I am thankful that I was able to see all of you and talk to you. Clayton has changed a ton. But the little ones are still the same. Just a bit older. Quincey plays super well. SUPER well. I really hope that he keeps going. It was the fastest ¨hour¨ of my life. I am just so happy that next year I will hang up knowing that the end is nigh. I know I will be sad to leave, and leaving will be hard for me, but I will be SOOO excited to run into my parents´ arms.
This week was super great. On Tuesday morning (christmas eve) all 8 of us missionaries went to the church and had a christmas eve american breakfast. It was good. We made french toast, pancakes, crepes, bacon, sausage, eggs and hashbrowns, and all of it. The Hermanas made homemade buttermilk syrup that actually turned out really quite well. And then we played basketball and soccer outside (the church´s parking lot has some hoops and goals) and just hung out doing nothing. (the mission doesn´t proselyte on christmas eve or christmas day). Then we went home and changed and watched part of best two years, and then went to J´s house. J is our Ward Mission Leader, and is from Argentina. He was in the bishopric when I first arrived here in Almeria, but was switched a while later. He and his wife, M, are the best. I really love J. He works SOO hard and is probably my favorite person in Spain that I have met so far. He invited us and the Hermanas over to his house for Christmas eve (or Noche Buena) and it was SOOO awesome. The closest thing to home I could have had. We walked in and it was all decorated really well for Christmas time, and the table was laid out very elegant and classy and I just immediately felt at home. J is probably in his fifties, and his son and daughter in law that live in Madrid were there as well. Just the eight of us. J has a daughter on a mission in Barcelona, so he has a soft spot for missionaries. The food was DELICIOUS. Part spanish and part argentine (no idea if that is the correct word or not). It was some of the best food I have had in Spain so far. We drank wine without alcohol which is pretty good, and they had cheesecake and fruit for dessert. Super classy. The food was tons of different meats, stuffed with nuts and fruit, and lots of salads and rice and bread and vegetables. It was cool. Very cool. Afterwards we waited up until midnight to ¨toast¨ and welcome in the Christmas day, which is a spanish speaking tradition I think. We toasted with non alcoholic champagne, which tastes like sparkling cider. So It was definitely a nostalgic experience for me. They have lots of traditions and I am so grateful to have been able to spend it with them.
On Wednesday we basically did nothing. We sat inside all day and then went to a members house at medio dia to eat with them. At 7 we skyped. I really did not think I would cry. But apparently this is a reocurring thing. Did you know there is a spiritual gift called ´the gift to be able to weep´ ?? I think our whole family has been blessed with that spiritual gift. But towards the end there it was really hard for me. Everyone in the internet cafe was giving me weird looks, cause I was sobbing. I hung up and tried so hard to stop crying. I managed to hold myself together long enough to pay and walk out, but I walked out of there and then just broke down. Last time in May I walked out of that cafe with my head held high ready to get to work, but this time was a lot different. I just started sobbing. First time Chaps had ever seen me cry. I just remember not wanting him to see me cry, but I couldn´t help it. I just kept trying to say ¨this is so hard¨, but I couldn´t get the words out cause I was crying so hard. Hahaha. It was hard for me. We were standing there and I was just sobbing and then Chapple put his arm around me and we started walking. Then I remembered that his dog had been very sick and was about to die and so I asked him if he had got to see her one last time, and he shook his head. She had passed away the night before. So he kind of started crying too. We looked really pathetic I think. I was feeling incredibly sorry for myself. This whole leaving the family for two years thing has not been easy for me. But I had an interesting experience that night.
We watched 17 miracles after we got home, and my perspective was changed a little bit. I watched the whole thing, feeling the powerful spirit that pioneer stories bring. But when it got to the climax of the movie- the part where the song ´Savior, Redeemer´ is playing and it shows the deaths of so many characters and really conveys the unimaginable depths of their sacrifices, I began to feel very selfish. Just hours earlier I had been mourning over the tiny sacrifice that I am making, when in reality my sacrifice is nothing. My family is happy, safe, and healthy. They have every comfort they could possibly want, and every freedom they need. As do I. We are both blessed immensely. True sacrifice is in the account of a wife, that literally had to watch her husband dig a hole in the frozen ground, a hole that would be the final resting place of the dead child she held in her arms, while the tears on her face froze to her cheeks. Standing in a blizzard, literally starving to death, worried for the lives of her other children and whether or not any of them will make it to Zion alive. Always walking, pulling a handcart, across the american continent. I once made a reference comparing the amount of my walking to that of the pioneers, but I will NEVER say anything like that again. So many people went through that, all the while telling themselves that ¨it will all be worth it in the end¨. The fires of their testimonies drove them forward, always in the hope that Zion was continually getting closer and closer. They understood the importance of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and they were willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING for it. It really puts things into perspective for me. I have NO idea what true sacrifice is, and I am so lucky that God has simply asked me for two years away from my family. 2 years in which I would bring the message of that gospel to the people of Spain that will listen to us. I have zero reasons to feel sorry for myself. An innumerable amount of people have testified of the truthfulness and eternal importance of this gospel message, and an equally innumerable amount of them have sealed their testimonies with their very lives. It saddens me to think about just how much I take the message I bear for granted. It is the most important message EVER carried, and I need to deliver it to as many peole as will possible listen to me. The word ´sacrifice´ is very broad, and often denoted to situations which, really, aren´t deserving of the title.
I have recommitted myself to this work. I love it and it means everything to me. But sometimes I forget that.
I am about out of time. I was gonna write about the depressing situation of Spanish youth, but time is not my friend today. Basically we had a ten year old kid tell us that he felt an answer from God about the BoM, and that he knows that God wants him to be baptized. But he won´t do it because he wants to be able to drink alcohol when he turns 18 in EIGHT years. I haven´t talked much about his, but the young people here really really make me sad. Sometimes I feel like Moroni surrounded by a world of awful wickedness. I have met too many 13-15 year old girls that have already been stained by the world. A TON of young girls here from 13-15 years old have boyfriends that are 24, 25 and even 26. It´s so so so illegal. But it happens ALL THE TIME. I just spoke with a 14 year old girl that lives with her 24 year old boyfriend. And we are teaching this fifteen year old romanian girl that has a 26 year old boyfriend. It makes me sick and my spirit literally feels sad sometimes. Eleven year old boys have ran away from home and spent the night in a park with their fifteen year old girlfriend. It´s just normal here. Some teenage boys told us that sex is more of a sport than anything else. So yeah. That´s just really disheartening. Europe is not doing too well right now.
On a much happier note, I finished the Book of Mormon this week and, once again, was blessed with a reconfirmation of it´s divinity and truthfulness. I KNOW that Book is the word of God. Every time I testify of it I feel the Spirit confirming my testimony. I know it more than I have ever known anything. I love the Book of Mormon more than words can tell. It was SO written for our time and day.
I also have thought a lot about my relationship with my Savior. I have been really blessed when it comes to the simplicity of my trials. I haven´t relied on Him as much as I should. But as I said earlier, I am working on it. When we don´t feel as close to the Savior as we wish, it is nobody´s fault but ours. I was thinking about the movie Charly the other day. I hate that movie. But it teaches some good principles. At one point the main character says (after his wife had gotten cancer) ¨I had to ask myself: Did I know Him well enough to trust Him with her?¨ I remember that statement a lot because when the crap hits the fan in life and we don´t know where to turn, that is when we need to start having faith in the gospel answers that we carry with us all the time. That´s when it all really counts. I just want to be able to know Him well enough to trust Him when I start to have trials in life.
Well I love you more than anything
HAPPY NEW YEAR
elder sharp
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