Week 5- ONE MONTH MARK

So  

Well let me just say that getting that package from you may have been one of the happiest moments of my life. Not kidding. Hearing from you guys is wonderful. Letters are seriously like Christmas. But that package was pure joy! It was absolutely perfect. I didn´t start crying until I picked up Quincey (or maybe Lincoln´s) airplane. I don´t know what it is exactly (maybe just the being away from home effect) but I just have the deepest love for my family. Leaving for college was different. I really missed my parents, but my heart didn´t ache for you like it does now. I miss every single one of you so much it hurts. I loved Brigham´s letter. And I just love hearing about how everyone is doing. I know that I am developing an even greater love for my family as I am out here. And I know why. It´s all about families right now. I am growing to appreciate mine even more because I have to understand that the love I am experiencing is what I need to help people here receive. It´s such an important work. I have some really selfish blinders on, and I am trying to remove them, but what truly matters at this point is loving my Lord enough to give everything I have to him. I don´t know why, but the Spirit has been with me so much recently. I am much more spiritually minded. Which is a blessing because I was worried for a while. I didn´t feel like I was a missionary!! But I also realize that I am still a human being. Although the Spirit will be with me out here, it doesn´t just happen automatically. And I honestly don´t know why it´s happening more. I am lacking when it comes to dedication. My district still gets distracted really easily. I am definitely growing though. Even though I don´t study as much as I should. I LOVE the temple. I have grown to appreciate it in such a special way. I had another amazing experience today. Heavenly Father is really blessing me right now. I hope you guys are noticing all of the blessings that He is giving you as well. I know he is blessing you.

So it is really hot here. Not really hot. But it´s getting hotter. There is no ac in this building so sometimes it´s hard to fall asleep. I really hope they have ac down south. I am so excited to find out where I am serving!! Hopefully it´s not somewhere too hot. But I know I will go wherever I am supposed to.

I don´t really know what to write when it comes to my week. It´s getting really montonous. And tell Brigham that I loved his letter. But it´s totally not my fault about the spelling. I am typing as fast as I can and it´s on a Spanish keyboard. So I think I do rather nicely. I miss them so much. I miss Clayton. Sharing a room with him even. I really wish I could be there for him right now. And I really wish I could have been there for Prom. My brothers looked so good. They are some seriously attractive boys. I hate thinking about how long it will be until I hug them again. And I am not even going to comment about how much I miss the little boys. They are getting so old. I don´t understand why Brigham wasn´t allowed to run. That´s really stupid. But I guess it just wasn´t meant to be. Not too sad. He would probably get sick of all the pointless stuff that they have to do anyway. Except for Hearts of Gold. That´s definitely not pointless.

Anyway. I went to the soccer stadium. It was pretty cool. I am starting to love soccer a lot. I had to pay 20 euros which was dumb. And i wouldn´t do it again or anything. But it was a cool experience. And then we went to dominoes. Which was really wonderful. And we also watched the last session of conference which was marvelous. I really loved Elder Holland´s talk of course. It was really personal for a lot of people I think. Lots of people are going through that right now. But my faith trial is slowly ending. I have such a deep love for the brethren. They are such motivators right now. Another motivator is the thought of all of the countless prayers that are said in our behalf. Almost every single prayer circle in the entire world specifically blesses missionaries. Not to mention the prayers of our family and friends. We are really important. This work is really important. Crucial. The most important thing I´ve ever done in terms of the human race. The entire Plan of Salvation is slowly beginning to take form in my mind. I am seeing much more clearly. I think about it all the time. My mission is like a little form of that. I´m here now and I need to do my best so that I can make my parents proud when I get home. I need to grow and become like Christ. And the crowning moment will be when I return home and look my parents in the eye and tell them that I served loyally with all my heart, and now I am home to stay. And I may not be able to talk to them a lot, but I know they are there. Cheering me on and happy when I do what´s right. Thinking about it like that makes all of this seem more applicable. More personal. I am ready to leave this place. I am ready to go out and find my brothers and sisters. I left my family for two years for the sole purpose of trying to help other families be together for eternity. It´s such a cute little saying but it´s true. Families are the center of everything. The most important aspect of this gospel is families. I am sacrificing a lot, but I am also gaining so much. The opportunity to represent Jesus Christ. I wear his name over my heart and that is a sacred privilege, but also an enormous responsibility. I have to forget myself. Turn outward instead of inward. And that is really difficult. But as I am on the Lord´s errand I know I am entitled to his blessings, and he will help me to become less selfish. I know it. I sometimes fear because it has been said that we cannot convert past our own conversion. And I know I am converted, but I still have so much more to understand and receive testimony of. I just hope that I am enough. I hope that He can use me as I am. The comforting thing is that as I labor in his vineyard, I will become more like Him. Only 23 months left. I can already tell that the time is going to FLY by. I am afraid I will look back and it will be gone. And I will have to take my badge off. Of course his name will never leave my heart, but I won´t be a set apart missionary anymore. That´s a sad thought. I need to make these last 23 months count.

The rest of this week was normal. The park is sometimes difficult. People don´t want to listen. And I don´t know what to say to get them to care. I can´t wait to be trained. I have learned lots here. I am grateful for the opportunity I had. Anyway. It´s hot. Well Sunday was really good. We had a devotional with President Sitterud and it was really inspiring. And we had a fireside with these people from Texas that were some of the first missionaries in Spain. They were interesting. The wife was some opera singer and she belted out like four songs in the chapel. I felt a little uncomfortable. Her husband played the piano for her. It was loud. But it was a good day. And then three days of class. We got two new sisters in our district from Provo. They are pretty cool I guess. I am sick of this patticake festival. The hermanas are great and I am happy to serve with them, but I am so sick of feeling like I´m at youth conference or something. It´s almost distracting to have hermanas and elders live with each other. Please don´t think I have anything against Hermanas. Just against the way that Elders and Hermanas act together sometimes. We all distract each other talking about dumb stuff and we are so quick to forget that this work is urgent. There is tons of time to have fun and we all make the most of it, but we waste so much valuable study time. Ugh. I´m as guilty as anyone. But I will be quite glad when I don´t live with girls anymore.

Elder Webb and I are doing good. His back has been hurting him lately. He doesn´t play soccer anymore. Elder Webb is the best soccer player in the MTC. I am actually getting lots better. I like it a lot. We´re having a zone on zone game on the last P day here. I can´t wait. I wish I had played soccer instead of baseball. It´s a much better sport. I miss baseball a lot though. But I am excited to play soccer more. Spencer was right all along!!!

I love you all. I have ZERO time to write. I am allowed to write during free time, but I´m just so busy all the time. I will try to be better. Be safe. Hold to the Rod. All of this is real. It´s not just something we like to tell ourselves to be happy in this life. It´s real. We used to live with God. And He is literally our FATHER!!! When we pass on, the most shocking thing for us will be the familiarity of His face. He loves us. I know it. I know that all of this is for a purpose. We don´t understand everything but that is how it´s supposed to be. This is the hardest dispensation to live in because it is the hardest time to believe. To have faith. And that is why we are the chosen generation. They tell us that and some people get sick of hearing it. But it´s not a joke. We have been assigned to live in this time period because we have faith. It is the hardest time ever to live on the earth. Because having faith has never been more difficult. The doctrine of the Plan of Salvation can change lives. When people understand their divine heritage and purpose, when their soul begins to burn because of the familiarity of this plan, that is when they are willing to change their life; to sacrifice everything to come unto Christ and preservar hasta el fin. I am so lucky to have a family like you. We have been truly blessed by the Lord, and we are doing the right thing. Missionary work is important. Member missionary work is crucial. Try to help your missionaries out. I love you all. Haz La Justo. DO the right. I like it better in Spanish.

Love, your missionary, Elder Sharp