Monday, June 17, 2013

3 Month Mark

Tuesday is his three month mark.  It feels like he's been gone forever, really.  Much longer than three months.  I'm glad he doesn't feel that way.  I'm so grateful that he's happy.  I wish I could understand just what exactly is making him realize how blessed he is/was.  I would love to give a little of that to his brothers.  :)  His feelings about Victoriano are awesome!  I loved that part of his letter. 


Hi

Things are going well here. We didn´t quite reach our goal of 8. But it wasn´t a goal set by the Spirit. And the one family still doesn´t have their papers. So that is minus three. but things are still wonderful in Jerez. I really love being a missionary. Man the weeks just fly by!! Where to begin. I am super jealous of the pictures you sent me. Haha. Quite the difference from the week I had. Last week was HOT. In the 90s. Being outside is hard, but it´s bearable. What ISN´T bearable is the nights. I am physically not capable of sleeping if I am really hot. And everyone in Jerez knows that it gets really really hot in the Pisos during the night. Way hotter than outside. The first night that it was hot I about died. I didn´t sleep at all. Elder Pardo and I basically walked around the house all night moaning. Even he can´t handle the heat. My body just isn´t used to this!! I had my fan on full blast like two feet away from me on my mattress and I was sweating. The first night was awful. The next night I froze my pillowcase and it was great for about five minutes, and then it was back to normal. So today I got it soaking wet and then put it in the freezer. It should last longer. Elder Pardo tried sleeping on the kitchen floor. Apparently it´s cooler there. The worst is my bed though. I can´t sleep there anymore. It is the top bunk, so it´s even hotter up there!! This is the guy who, during the wintertime in Provo, opened the window in his bedroom just to make it more cold. I love sleeping when it´s cold. I just love being cold! Today has been a miracle however. It is cloudy and cool. Well kind of. But the clouds are moving away it looks like. How sad. You know how after you shower you walk out of the steam filled bathroom and the normal air in the house just feels so cold for a few seconds?? You are hit with a blast of cold air as soon as you leave the bathroom. Well they don´t have that here. I walk out of the bathroom and there is no difference in the rest of the house. This is the first time in my life that I have ever showered with cold water purely by choice!! Anyway. That rant is over. Sorry! It isn´t really affecting my happiness though. The heat is a great conversation starter. Hace calor, no? Si, un montonasa de calor. Si. Estoy muriendo de calor. Si, yo tambien. That conversation happens about 10 times a day for me.

I am so happy!! I cannot even explain how much joy I feel after having seen the conversion take place in Victoriano´s life. We had an FHE with him and some members last week and he just seemed SOO happy. There is a huge difference. And then on Saturday we had another lesson with him and it was going really well like usual, and somehow baptism was brought up (he has a date for the 29th with a "i hope so" as his answer) and he said "oh yeah I wanted to talk to you about the whole baptism thing" and I was thinking "Oh great. He is still afraid. What is he going to say?" and then I heard the best words I have ever heard in my life!! Yo quiero bautizarme!!! I about started shouting for joy. I then heard him bear his testimony for the first time, and I realized why I am here. He talked about the change that he has felt in his life, and how he has been changed forever by the gospel and his Savior. He said he feels so much closer to Jesus Christ, and his doubts are gone. He also said that he knows the hand of God was there that day on the bus when I first contacted him. He has a light and happiness about him that was not there before. I am not just saying that to be a cheesy missionary trying to impress his family or whatever. He really really does look different. The change is visible. I feel so amazing to have been able to be a tool in the Lord´s hand in bringing Victoriano into the gospel. He will be baptized on the 28th of June. I can´t explain the joy I feel. THIS is why we do this. Yesterday I watched him as he walked up the steps to the chapel doors (he walks to church by himself, about a forty minute walk) and he was wearing a white shirt and tie with a dark suit carrying his book bag with all of his scriptures and gospel manuals and I about burst with pride. I feel like a proud father or something. He has changed so much, all for the better. And I have seen all of the change!! I couldn´t be happier. I don´t have time today to write alot. I am sorry. I wish I had more time to email.

There is so much that I could say, but I will just write about the important things.

I have really come to appreciate my life this week. More specifically, my family. I am not homesick anymore. I am completely engrossed in my life right now. Here. But I am overwhelmed when I think about how blessed I have been throughout my life. My parents have done so incredibly much for me, and I was ungrateful and unappreciative. I wish I had enough time to fully explain myself. Letters I guess. But wow. I owe you so much. I never understood just how much you did for me. And do. I won´t fully understand until I am a parent. But I have been so blessed. I wish so badly that I could relive my teenage years with the understanding I have now. I would have been a better son. A more obedient son. I would have been a better brother! I have so many beautiful memories. And I did not appreciate them enough while I was living them. Only now do I realize how precious they are. Being raised in a home where I was taught to pray to my father in heaven ever since I could talk. Where the gospel was taught AND lived. I have always had an incredible example of a worthy priesthood holder right there in my home. My father works so hard for his family, and I never thanked him like I should have! I have lived under my parents testimonies for a long time. I have had my own for a while of course, but I didn´t appreciate the safe haven that was my childhood. So many people don´t have what I had. And I didn´t even realize what I had! All the hours we spent talking as a family, all the times I played basketball with Brigham during summer nights, or the countless hours singing with Spencer, or listening to Lincoln offer the family prayer at night, and lying down with Quincey and Lincoln in their bed at night and just talking about life, or listening to Clayton´s really long stories. All of the hours we spent crammed in the suburban together when I could have expressed my love and gratitude for my wonderful brothers and to the two people that gave me everything and I didn´t!! I didn´t even realize it. Families are literally a small piece of heaven. The most celestial thing that exists in this fallen world. And Satan is attacking it from every front. How crucial is our responsibility to defend this sacred unit!! I love my family more than I ever thought I was capable of loving anything. I am so so so eternally grateful for my childhood. For the parents that raised me. For other people my childhood probably wouldnt´seem that eventful or exciting. But those memories are some of the most precious things I have. The safety and comfort that I had in my home with my family was so important to me. I realize now that every good thing I ever did was simply to make my parents proud. A large part of why I am here is simply that. I want to make my parents proud of me. I have always craved their approval. I have been raised by some of the best of God´s children, and I am so thankful to my Father in heaven for them. I am afraid to be a parent. I am much more comfortable with the role of brother and son. But when that time comes, I have the best role models in the world to look to for answers and help. I don´t know how to express how grateful I am to you guys. And to my brothers. Sometimes I will sit down during my journal time and stare out the window and think about my life. I feel like sometimes my whole childhood flashes before my eyes and sometimes I just break down crying!!! I am so thankful for what you have given me. I know that you both faced so many challenges in the beginning and yet you worked through them. You suffered a lot being my parents. But I know that I would not be here without your sacrifices. I am so thankful for them. I have never felt so much gratitude in my life. And if I feel this for my earthly parents, I can´t imagine just how much my heavenly parents have done for me. Wow. Words can´t explain how I feel. Especially with so little time. I love you so much. I really really do. People always ask the youth ¨what´s the most important thing in your life?¨ and the answer is always an automatic "family/gospel". I am sure it was the most important thing in my life, but when I answer that question now there is something so different. I truly understand what the most important thing in life is. It really really is families. We are so blessed.

I have to go. Things are so well here. I am SO happy. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I love you.

Your son

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