My Family,
I am so glad to get to write you and read your emails. This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. Missionary work is so hard. So hard. I have been tested in a lot of ways. First off, I thought I knew when homesickness felt like but in all actuality I had no idea. I have never missed anything so much in my entire life. It literally hurts. I will start from the beginning.
Elder Pardo. A wonderful wonderful Elder. I love him dearly. We are so similar. He´s like a South American version of me. He was born in Bolivia and moved to Barcelona when he was six months old. He has a little brother that is 17 and a father. His mother left them when he was 7. He was baptized at age 11. He and his brother. He went to church by himself for his entire life. His brother went with him sometimes and although his dad is a member, he can´t keep the commandments and therefore chooses not to go. He has started going to church since Elder Pardo has been on a mission apparently. Basically Elder Pardo is my hero. He´s been out for seven months. He works hard and he loves the Lord. He loves enya, josh groban, and all the same music as me. We are really similar. We get along really well. He´s hilarious. It is frustrating sometimes with the communication barrier, but we manage. I am learning quickly. The Spanish in Jerez is ridiculous. The first few days were impossible for me. It is so different than the Spanish in Madrid. But in this area of the South the people speak weirdly, and I knew that before I got here. I am getting better though as the days go by.
Our piso is...alright. Now. On the three hour train ride from Malaga to Jerez I learned from Elder Pardo that there was mold all over the ceiling of our apartment (piso). Which was comforting. He said he tried to scrub it all off but he didn´t know how well it worked. So I walked in that night and was a little overwhelmed. It was filthy. And hot. And filthy. I finally had the chance to clean it this morning. So that was good. It isn´t all that bad when it´s cleaned. I still have lots to do though because there was hardly any cleaning supplies. I have to buy some. There are lots of bugs here. Jerez is a hot city. I wake up with mosquito bites everywhere. Even on the bottom of my feet. I don´t know what to do. I will die of heat if I close the window, but if I leave it open the bugs get me. I am going to try and buy a fan today. There is no dryer. So that is annoying. But we hang our clothes up and it´s ok. Except our washer flooded this morning. While I was cleaning the kitchen and washing the shower curtain. So that has to be taken care of too.
I have never been so tired in my entire life. I feel like I am hiking King´s peak all over again. Every day. I had a hard time falling asleep in the MTC, but I am out cold as soon as my head hits the pillow here. The bus system in Jerez is awful and unreliable, so we have to walk EVERYWHERE. I probably walk 12 to 15 miles a day. I get home exhausted. Our schedule is 7:30am to 11:30pm, but we usually go to bed before that. The work isn´t going well here in Jerez. The members are great from what I can tell, but they aren´t too interested in missionary work. The bishop doesn´t like missionaries. Seriously. It´s weird but apparently it´s been that way for a while. There are about 80 good strong active members, and lots of inactive members. Our investigators aren´t progressing. It is so hard here in Spain because in order to progress, they have to go to church. They have to go to church at least twice in order to be baptized. But 60 percent of Jerez is unemployed, so the ones that do have a job work all the time. We have some investigators that would be baptized but are unable to progress because they have to work every single day. It is sad. And it also takes a really long time to get married here. We have two families that could be baptized but they are waiting for marriage papers and signing or whatever and it wont happen until september. So sad. And discouraging. We hope they won´t fall away in the mean time. A lot of people are only interested in the church because it helps them with food and stuff. So that´s another complication. All in all the work is hard right now. Haha. I am not complaining. I wouldn´t want to be doing anything else. But it´s hard. My shoes are filthy. And they hurt my feet. But apparently it doesn´t matter what shoes you buy, they will all hurt. Jerez is a city with lots of variety. Famous for wine and andalucian horses. There are some parts that are gypsy ghetto. Totally filthy and digusting with trash everywhere. I can´t imagine living in places like that. Other parts are pretty modern and nice, and remind me of the US. Other parts are super european, with cobblestone streets and tons of history and totally beautiful. Those are my favorite areas. Although the cobblestone is like a cheese grater on the shoes. Lots of cool water fountains. Honestly my biggest problem with Europe is the fact that they don´t have flipping drinking fountains anywhere. I can´t stand it. They need to make like the Americans do and install some drinking fountains. So that´s Jerez. We´ve eaten with members twice and that is pretty good, but awkward. But like I said, the members are wonderful. They just need a little more enthusiasm. I think things will pick up though.
Last night was the hardest night so far for me. Harder than Saturday. On saturday we didn´t do anything. All of our appointments fell through and no one would let us in and we walked all over the place and it was mostly in the ghetto part of town and it was really a bad day. But last night was harder. I was looking through my little recipe book and I just broke down. I had just finished taking the moleskin off of my blisters and put my sunburn oil (lavender I think) on my neck and face and arms and reapplied lavender on all of my mosquito bites (that took a while) and it was hot and our apartment was gross and we didn´t have any success that night and I started thinking about my family and everything that you have done for me and that was it. I literally sobbed on the floor of my bathroom. For the first time I asked myself why the heck I am doing this. And then I looked up at the picture above my sink (there is no mirror in my bathroom, so I put a picture instead). It is a picture of Jesus Christ. And I remembered why I am doing this. Not for me. Not for my family. Not for anyone but Him. It is the least I can do in return for what He did for me. It is hard. So so hard. I don´t know what everyone else experiences but this has been a difficult week. But I know my suffering is nothing in comparison. I have been thinking solely of myself these last six days and not of who I am serving right now. It isn´t about me. I need to get that through my thick skull. It´s for Him. All for Him. People will tell you that missions are hard and that it was the most difficult thing they have ever done, but you don´t really think about that until you get out and experience it for yourself. It is hard. And sometimes it downright sucks. But we grow so much during our missions. And I think that´s why. We suffer. We go through so much for Him. That´s what changes the missionaries. I wouldn´t trade this for anything. I am so glad that I get this chance.
I will try to write letters. I have some finished. But I want to send them all at once. Or maybe I shouldn´t. I dunno. I also went to the orthodontist. It will cost 200 euros. I feel like such an idiot. I don´t know when I will grow up and stop wasting so much money because of my carelessness. I am so sorry. I love you all so much. You mean the world to me. I miss you so much it hurts. Really. It is painful. More than my blisters or sunburns. Well I need to get off now. I love you. Thank you for everything. The best thing you can do is to keep in contact with me. Tell me about your lives!! I hope things are going well. I love you.
Elder Sharp
Elder Pardo and Elder Sharp (in Malaga, right as they were paired together.)
This is the whole group as they arrived in Malaga, straight from the MTC in Madrid.
Lots of new missionaries. (These photos came from the mission blog.)
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